Is there a correlation between penis size and intelligence?"

Category: News and Views

Post 1 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 23-Jan-2007 23:56:12

I just couldn't come up with a better topic title than that. This comes from a newsletter I subscribe to I hope you get a laugh out of it as I did. Laugh it up.

Greetings fellow Bizarros:  

I have to tell you, the "AskLewis" idea seems to be catching  
on. But something VERY weird is happening. The questions,  
for the most part, cluster around a couple of themes. Of  
course there is S-E-X. Then there are personal questions,  
and then there are scientific questions.  

We must have many Laff-A-Day readers judging by the number  
of penis questions. TZ, editor of that publication is the  
master of under the belt trivia...but we had 28 people ask a  
variation of the following question:  

"Is there a correlation between penis size and intelligence?"  

I had to answer this because I read a book penned by the  
late Stephen J. Gould called, "The Mismeasure of Man". I  
actually had a lengthy discussion of this topic and book  
with a friend of mine, the late Frank Zappa. Once upon a  
time, scientists developed (or tried to at least) a scale  
that went like this:  

The longer the distance from the tip of your penis to your  
navel, the LESS intelligent one was thought to be. What  
that meant, was the longer your penis, the less intelligent,  
The measurements were taken when subjects were not  
aroused. They found that black men were less intelligent  
because, on average, their penises were longer, meaning that  
the distance to the navel was longer. White European males  
were classified as the most intelligent, because the  
distance to the navel was shorter.  

I am not making this up, believe me, I am not that clever.  
There have been many attempts to quantify intelligence  
ranging from tests to cranial size. But the penis theory  
of intelligence served two purposes. It rationalized for  
the scientists why they had small penises.  

Post 2 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 0:08:06

Oh yeah these guys with small penises were smarter book wise, because if they hadn't learned the art of using the tongue they didn't have much female company to distract them, so what else did they have to do but learn?

Post 3 by BB (move over school!) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 0:55:26

Plus learning more, can mean earning more. Might as well try to attract a female with money, rather than size.

Post 4 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 0:58:41

So why not tattoo a hundred dollar bill to your pork link? What woman wouldn't blow a hundred?

Post 5 by frequency (the music man) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 1:59:18

you know, i must be lucky. that's all i'm sayin'.

Post 6 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 8:39:33

You mean lucky you're so intellegent Blake, otherwise the only way you'd not be screwed is by a chick? lol

Post 7 by frequency (the music man) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 10:08:31

i see i've prooved my point.

Post 8 by Damia (I'm oppinionated deal with it.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 16:07:00

rofl just... lmao hmm I love my man, and I say no more than that so the guessing is up to you. smerks.

Post 9 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 18:14:07

omg, what a load of bolucks! So, I guess that would mean that, at some point, I've slept, or tried to sleep with albert inestine? please..... I think not.

Post 10 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 18:27:03

ROFLMAO Danielle, It's really not fare that you tell the whole zone about Cactus Jack like this. Poor Kay has to deal with this now. Maybe she can cope with the minute penis, but knowing that he really should be as intellegent as Steven Hawkins will really be difficult.

Post 11 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 19:20:29

I infer from this that women are smarter than men because we have no penis at all.

Post 12 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 22:26:50

that is just proof of how wrong you are becky, as if you took notice, the statement brought into question the relationship between brains and penis size, not whether one existed at all. One could conclude from that that no penis could mean no brain which would be another possibility entirely.

Post 13 by maddog (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2007 22:46:17

I must agree with kevin in this case, Becky. So, it could mean, that women are actually stupider.

Post 14 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 25-Jan-2007 0:24:54

Stupider? Hmmm, you've just proved my point.

Post 15 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Thursday, 25-Jan-2007 8:01:42

I wonder if there might be an inverse relationship hidden here.

Meaning: is there a relationship between a lady's vagina size and her intelligence?

Bob

Post 16 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Thursday, 25-Jan-2007 8:07:09

We'd have to be considering the tightness here, as depth only varies mostly when sexually aroused, but you could have a point here, as unless a woman does things to counteract the problem, after children she gets loosser, and it could be said less intellegent. lol

Post 17 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 25-Jan-2007 11:38:20

If a woman gets less intelligent after children it's only from having to talk down to her stupid husband and male children.

Post 18 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Thursday, 25-Jan-2007 12:21:22

After some further consideration, you might suggest there is an arguement for women to remain mostly selebit, and to refrain from insertion of objects during masturbation. Repeated sex seems to loosen the vagina, so it could by default actually be killing some of your brain cells, so to remain bright and able to hold a decent conversation, only have sex say hmm, once a week or something.

Post 19 by BaritoneAu (Regular Zoner) on Thursday, 25-Jan-2007 13:02:14

Hi, I don't know if there is a correlation between penis size and intelligence. As for the situation with women, given the visual similarity of the cervix to a penis, perhaps it doesn't matter how much intelligence women have, they keep it well hidden...LOL

The only thing of which I am sure is that masturbation sends you blind; got mine in advance (totally from birth)...LOL

Post 20 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Thursday, 25-Jan-2007 13:06:56

Interesting, it's normally the Clitoris that is said to be similar, or compaired to the penis, and the odd Cirvix I've had the joy to feel didn't feel anything like a penis, but then I didn't examine many yet.